This Is Our Country

Joke of the Day - Q: Where do young cantaloupes and honeydews spend their summers? A: at John Cougar Mellencamp

I had a fairly decent weekend, as far as weekends go for me nowadays. I didn't let the fact that it was yet another lost football weekend get to me too much (my fourth straight sub-.500 spread pool showing, 0-3 in my money fantasy leagues and a disastrous showing by the Eagles in a home loss to the Jaguars). I would, however, like to extend a nice and haughty F.U. to Chevrolet, maker of fine automobiles and hugely annoying pickup truck commercials.

It is Halloween week, and I am certain that I will see nothing as scary as the heart-pounding terror I experienced all day on Sunday during football commercial breaks. Every break in the action (and there were many...SO many!) caused my pulse to race and my skin to crawl. What is it that scared me so? I was brought to the brink of throwing a remote control through my DLP ("it's the mirrors!") by the shock and awe bombardment of my senses generated by the Chevy Silverado ad blitz. It is highly possible that the next time I hear the song "Our Country" by the former John Cougar, I may eat my own ears to stop the pain. Every second commercial, the strumming and twanging of that Godforsaken song washed over me like so much 80's New Jersey coastal medical waste. It was a relentless barrage. It got me thinking...if these commercials could break me this easily, they ought to be subjecting our guests at Guantanamo to this sugary pap. After a few hours of that type of torture, Homeland Security could turn the most hardened Al Qaeda operative into a Stars and Stripes waving card-carrying member of the Dale Jr. NASCAR Fan Club.

The ads are constructed around the John Cougar patriotic homage to America, "Our Country". The spots are set up so current event video footage can be inserted at various points to coincide with the lyrics, such as the forrest fire video that appears during the "...to the West coast" lyric. I am guessing that some advertising executives might have lost their jobs on Monday. I am usually fairly astute at picking up the angles most commercials are coming at me from, but some of the imagery chosen for some of the spots were somewhat questionable. I am not sure what genius ad exec decided that showing Hurricane Katrina footage during the "dixie highway" lyric was a hot idea. How does video of forrest fires and flooded out portions of the Gulf Coast make anyone get motivated to buy a new Chevy pickup truck? Hell, while they are at it, why not go for even more realism. How about some video of Senators emailing young boys or oil executives and some of our "representatives" in Washington sharing a hot tub and washing themselves with wads of money! It would be awesome! I would have so much fun if I were working on the video splicing for these commercials. I can see John Mellencamp strumming his guitar towards the big finish then panning to a picture of Capitol Hill with a giant "For Sale" sign sticking out of it. "...this is our country!". Oh yeah. Advertising magic!

Speaking of advertising barrages, is ANYONE running out to buy a Nissan Sentra because Napoleon Dynamite lived out of one for seven days? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

[Currently Listening: The Misfits - "Braineaters"]