The World Does Not Revolve Around Me

My wife said something to me last night that was both stinging and enlightening at the same time. She told me that her "world didn't revolve around me". I was fairly hurt by this at first, but I had to take into account that I was most likely being very irritating to her at the time.

I admit, there have been large stretches of my life where I have craved attention. I can immediately recall scads of incidents where I did very stupid things with the goal of drawing attention to myself or to be remembered. I short-circuited my basketball career by showing off in a church gym - breaking my elbow and shoulder while dunking a ball - because of the pretty girls in attendance. My constant need for people to like me and remember me directly motivated me to spend an ungodly amount of money in college on bottled beer, and led me to spend most of my time on campus most unwisely. I must say that I DID have a fairly good time in college, and I was always afraid of missing something. Hence, ninety-five percent of my papers weren't started until at least midnight on the night before they were due. I wonder how dangerous I would have been in college with actual study skills, a plan and proper motivation.

I look at myself today and I do not see someone as high-maintenance as I was in my teens and early twenties. I don't expect anything from anyone, and I rarely act as though my needs or desires are more important than anyone else's. Granted, there is probably a lot more I could do to help around the house, but wow. Maybe I am reading too much into what she said. I mean, once The Man Zachary came aboard the family ship - our collective world rotates around him. Maybe I have completely gone soft. The relatively tough city kid is now an uber-sensitive mamby-pamby emotional spaz. Unless of course I am NOT reading too much into this. I guess time will tell. But, doesn't everyone in a relationship want to believe that the world of their significant other orbits at least somewhat around them?

I spent the bulk of this past weekend in the home office hammering on the keyboard for my night job. My wrists and fingers are ready to fall off, and my eyes are one screen-squint away from melting out of my skull. I know my night boss appreciates what I was able to get done. I didn't find out I was going to be devoting my weekend to his business until late Friday afternoon. Rules changes in how work visas are awarded were announced on Friday, with a two-week window for compliance on all applications. So, one of the big yearly paperwork crunches that normally happens in January and which normally takes a week and a half to process had to be completed this past weekend in two days. Fun, fun, fun!

[Currently Listening: Operation Ivy - "Yellin' In My Ear"]