True People of Faith

I am a Christian, but I am sad to report that I am not a very good one. I have often joked that I am going to be driving the shuttle bus to hell. I sin. A lot. I swear, show hostile and anger towards my fellow man, I gamble, I drink sometimes, I have stolen, I have been dishonest. I have done lots of other stuff too but I'm trying to keep this simple. As most of you know, there was yet another school shooting this week, this one about a half hour from my house. Some jackhole with issues snapped, stormed an Amish school and shot 10 helpless Amish schoolgirls. Reports of school shootings reverberate through me for a lot of reasons, moreso now than when I was younger. My wife is an elementary school teacher, and stories like this hit home.

I am never one to dismiss or discount mental or emotional illness. I am no Tom Cruise when it comes to these things. All of us are products of our environments, our upbringings, and life occurrences that shape us into the individuals we are today. Past traumas can eat away at someone's emotional stability and cause them to do some truly horrific things. That being said, the guy who perpetrated this act does not get a pass from me. Apparently, there was something in one of the gunman's suicide notes about "revenge" for something that happened "20 years ago". I can't see anything that could have happened to anyone that would explain the binding and shooting of 10 little Amish girls. I won't even go into the factoid released by the State Police that the guy brought lube with him. Shooting 10 Amish girls is revenge for what?!? The man was a sick coward. Anyone who attacks children is a sick coward. Anyone who attacks unarmed innocent people is a coward. If someone molested this guy when he was a kid, I could see going after the party responsible. I am not saying I condone revenge of this sort, but that is at least somewhat understandable. Not this, unless the guy was sexually assaulted by a rampaging horde of Amish schoolgirls some 20 years ago. And even then, to attack innocent kids now is just as unconscionable.

I have always respected the Amish. They live life by their rules without hurting anyone. Their lifestyle allows them to be self-sufficient, and it is very planet-friendly. As much as I respect the Amish, I could never be one. My wife pointed out last night that the only electricity they are allowed to use is a small generator to a barn. Unless I could get a generator big enough to run an HD TV, cable box, a PC, an internet connection, my PS2 and a stereo I wouldn't last "32 minutes" as an Amish - a quote from the missus. She is absolutely correct in her assessment. The Amish are a closed society, and the media hordes that have descended on Paradise, PA are most definitely an unwanted intrusion. I hate much about the news media sometimes, and this one quote from last night's news broadcast really got me angry: "funeral services for four of the slain Amish girls are scheduled for tomorrow. Amish spokesmen have asked that the public respect the families' privacy". This was being spoken over video footage of Amish mourners being hounded by television news cameras while trying to shield themselves from being taped. Nice. The Amish seem to be handling the hypocritical media circus most admirably, but that is not why my respect for the Amish has grown this week.

One of the first statements recorded from Amish spokespeople was that they forgive the coward who killed these innocent children and then turned the gun on himself. This man was not of the Amish order. He was not provoked by these children in any way. Yet the Amish - faced with horrible adversity, sorrow and unspeakable loss - demonstrate their adherence to the tenets of their faith by not only issuing statements of forgiveness, but by setting up assistance funds for the killer's children! These are good people, people who take their religious beliefs seriously and who demonstrate their faith by their deeds, not through hollow words.

As i said, I could never be an Amish. If anyone ever attacked my family, especially my son or my niece, the last thing on my mind would be forgiveness. I know my religion calls for me to refrain from judgment, and to forgive those that harm me and mine. I just do not know that I am capable. My wife and mother-in-law asked me if I could forgive someone who molested or killed Zachary. The answer is yes, but I would be forgiving them from inside a prison cell after I beat the person to death. My actual response to the question was: "I would forgive him. I would forgive him after I killed the mother%&*$#". Both of them laughed approvingly when I said it. I believe all of us need to start going to church again.

My thoughts, prayers and admiration go out to the families of the victims, as well as hope that their strength and conviction might rub off on all of us that call ourselves "Christians".

[Currently Listening: The Neville Brothers - "Will the Circle Be Unbroken"]