NFL Predictions 2006!

I am not sure why you should care what I think concerning the upcoming NFL season. Last year, my predictions were so far off as to bring into question my supposed knowledge of the game. I was feeling frisky last year, coming off a first-place finish in our 20+-person spread pool, and decent showings in my fantasy football leagues. So, I decided to blog my thoughts and predictions on the 2005 NFL. Turns out my newborn son could have predicted better than I did last year. Since I had my own office, I implemented a system of assigning wins and losses to every game on the upcoming schedule. This is not a very logical way to predict a season as it fails to take into consideration variables such as injuries, prima donna receivers stabbing their quarterbacks square between the shoulder-blades, etc. Some of my most egregious misses can’t even be pinned on these excuses. For instance, I completely overrated the Baltimore Ravens - as I turned them from dark horse contender to league juggernaut (with Kyle Boller at the helm no less), and predicted that the Chicago Bears would be one of the worst teams in recent NFL memory – even though I knew their defense was very good).

These are the types of things that should make you cease and desist reading this post – as I have about as much chance of being right as someone witnessing Mel Gibson head-bobbing at a Matisyahu concert. However, I will still undauntedly share my game-by-game playout prediction for the upcoming 2006 NFL season.

Here is what I foresee the final regular season standings looking like:
x = division winner. y = wildcard.

AFC EAST
NE 11-5 x
MIA 11-5 y
BUF 10-6
NYJ 3-13

AFC NORTH
CIN 11-5 x
PIT 10-6
BAL 5-11
CLE 4-12

AFC SOUTH
IND 12-4 x
JAX 10-6
HOU 3-13
TEN 3-13

AFC WEST
SD 12-4 x
DEN 11-5 y
KC 10-6
OAK 5-11

NFC EAST
NYG 11-5 x
DAL 10-6 y
PHI 10-6
WAS 6-10

NFC NORTH
MIN 10-6 x
CHI 10-6 y
DET 4-12
GB 4-12

NFC SOUTH
CAR 11-5 x
ATL 7-9
TB 6-10
NO 4-12

NFC WEST
SEA 12-4 x
ARI 8-8
STL 8-8
SF 3-13

So, the natural question I ask is: what looks way too loopy to happen? I don’t see any potential for uber-mistakes along the lines of the Ravens and Bears last year. I am torn on the NFC playoff picture. I believe the Wild Card spots in the conference will boil down to tiebreakers involving the Cowboys, Eagles and Bears, most likely conference record. In this scenario, the Cowboys and Bears eke out the two spots. I feel as though my Eagles can make the playoffs, but their second-half schedule is brutal. If they can manage to win a couple of those games at the end of the season that they aren’t supposed to, pencil them in. The most important game on the Birds’ schedule this season is Week 5, versus the Cowboys. It very well could determine their playoff fate.

Okay, if the above regular-season scenario plays out - the seedings for the playoffs would be: AFC: 1) Colts; 2) Chargers; 3) Bengals; 4) Patriots; 5) Broncos; 6) Dolphins. NFC: 1) Seahawks; 2) Panthers; 3) Giants; 4) Vikings; 5) Bears; 6) Cowboys.

WildCard Weekend: Dolphins at Bengals. Winner: Bengals; Broncos at Patriots. Winner: Patriots. Cowboys at Giants. Winner: Giants. Bears at Vikings. Winner: Bears.

Divisional Round: Patriots at Colts. Winner: Colts; Bengals at Chargers. Winner: Chargers; Bears at Seahawks. Winner: Seahawks; Giants at Panthers. Winner: Panthers.

Championship Games: Chargers at Colts. Winner: Colts; Panthers at Seahawks. Winner: Panthers.

Super Bowl: Is this the year for Peyton and the Colts? Maybe. The game will be outdoors, and that gives the toss-up to the Panthers. So there it is, the Carolina Panthers are your 2006 Super Bowl Champions.

(I am a big-time Eagles fan. I will be rooting for the Eagles every week. I believe the Eagles can make the playoffs as a high seed and win it all. But I do this exercise with my head, not my heart...)

[Currently Listening: Shaggy - "Oh Carolina"]