The Anti-Coatesy

I was very dissapointed in the manner with which my Philadelphia Flyers were dispatched from the playoffs by the Buffalo Sabres. The Flyers losing 7-1 at home in a playoff game is completely inexcusable. I have, however, been able to draw something positive from the early end to the Flyers postseason run: I will not have to listen to anymore ridiculous, idiotic, quasi-retarded rants by Flyers announcer Steve Coates, in particular his never-ending argument that the NHL would be safer if it did not punish fight instigators.

Steve Coates is a passionate announcer. He loves hockey, and he loves the Philadelphia Flyers. He is a throwback, a good soldier in the old-time-hockey army. The problem with "Coatesy" is he continues to hold on tightly to the ways of a bye gone era. I once loved a good hockey fight as much as any true orange-and-black-clad Flyers fan. However, as I have gotten older and more attuned to the actual goings-on in hockey games, the majority of hockey fights irritate me. 90% of hockey fights are one team's goon versus the other team's goon. Oh-so-often we will hear the announcers claim that the fight taking place between Goon-A and Goon-B is to settle an issue involving Player C, who cheap-shotted Player D. Huh? Come again?

Coatesy maintains that cheap-shots are on the rise because the NHL instituted a 5-minute instigation penalty for any player that tries to start a fight. The Coatesy logic is simple: if a player knows in the back of his mind that he will be challenged to a fight should he try to hurt another player, then that player will be more apt to behave. This logic IS simple. It is also flawed.

I played in a hockey league for 9 years, a league that imposes an automatic half-season suspension for any player that so much as throws a punch. As you may guess, there were very few full-blown fights in this league. There were also relatively few nasty cheap-shots in this league, a league in which there were very heated rivalries - teams and players that despised one another. What is it that kept the majority of players, even though there was genuine hatred between some of them, from attempting to injure other players? It was a mixture of strongly-enforced penalties for said acts combined with a fear of Old Testament justice. While fighting may be outlawed in the league, there was a double-dose of sanctions that always had to be kept in the back of our minds. First, any cheap shots that were caught by the referees were punsihable by penalties and suspensions. Secondly, the "eye for an eye" Old Testament theory was always in play. If you do something to someone else, chances are good that one of their teammates will, at some point, be looking to do that (or worse) unto you or one of your teammates.

Fighting in the NHL had just gotten silly. If (hypothetically, pre-lockout) Scott Stevens crushes Simon Gagne with a borderline cheap hit, and Ken Hitchcock sends out Donald Brashear - who ends up fighting Krzysztof Oliwa - who does that teach a lesson to? How does this fight make Scott Stevens think twice about burying the next Flyer unfortunate enough to be along the boards with their back turned? IT DOESN'T. But if Scott Stevens is assessed an intent to injure penalty and has to sit out 10 games while surrendering 10 game checks - THEN it becomes very unlikely that Mr. Stevens does anything similar in the future. Or, instead of sending Donald Brashear to fight Oliwa, perhaps he chases down Stevens, or better yet - Patrick Elias, and crushes him into the boards with all due prejudice - do you believe Stevens would make the same play again? Not likely.

Fighting in the NHL is as outdated as a large, slow-footed defesneman. Even pre-lockout, most teams did not carry a fighter on their playoff rosters. Why? Because playoff games are important, and teams need their best PLAYERS suited up. Not guys who provide a side-circus that has no bearing on a game whatsoever other than some crowd-fed momentum swing. The game is evolving, and positively so. Steve Coates would do well to evolve along with it.

[Currently Listening: Traveling Wilburys - "End of the Line"]