My Three-Tiered Model of Faith

As I sit here trying to recover from a most hectic weekend filled with all kinds of running around mostly related to The Man Zachary’s baptism, I am reminded of a handful of religion and faith-based conversations that I have had over the past few years – some fairly recently. As anyone who has ever been around me knows, I am a Christian – but a far cry from a holy roller.

I have been blessed throughout my life with a lot of friends. I have had friends from almost every type of background – whether it be ethnic/racial, socio-economic or religious. As far as the latter goes, I have had friends that were Jewish, Muslim, Scientologist, Buddhist, Hindu, agnostic and a number of hard-core atheists. However, most of my friends have been of Christian denominational backgrounds. To lump all of these people into one group does not do them justice, as there are Catholics, Presbyterians, Baptists, etc. – with enough variations to make your head spin. My wife is Episcopalian, and I agreed to Zachary being baptized in the church she grew up in. We were married there, and it is where we go when we are able to scrape ourselves out of bed to attend worship on Sunday mornings.

It was important to me that we keep the baptism low-key. It was mostly a family affair, as I believe that religious events like this should not be an excuse to throw a party and impose upon everyone you know - especially right after the holidays when most people are just now trying to assess the damage brought on by gift-giving and such. I did not want an egregiously-large event like some that I have been to. I prefer to keep things like this relatively small. We had a nice brunch at my Mom-In-Law’s house after the service (more on that later), and it was very nice.

That being said, the weekend was quite nutty as far as running errands and such went. We had to be at the church on Saturday morning at 9am for instruction and a quick walk-through. The priest that met with us was very nice, and he softened my stance on a couple of issues (i.e. why baptism should be celebrated, and why infant baptism is an ok thing). I got to spend the day with El Padrino Numero Uno Johnnie S., and while it was great to spend some time with him, we did our catching up while running lots of errands.

We had to be at the church on Sunday at 8:30am. Which, in the scheme of things is not all that early, but with the baby waking up at 6am on both Saturday and Sunday, I was struggling a bit. In the Episcopalian Church, baptisms are performed within the scope of the normal service, which is good, but definitely makes for a longer service. Yesterday also happened to be the Epiphany, so the Three Wise Men segment also tacked on a nice chunk of time. I have to give it to those that came out to celebrate with us - you are all true troopers. The service rang up a spectacular 1 hour 40 minute running time. Surprisingly, not only did the adults hold it together for the most part (we did have a couple in-service defections), but the kids in attendance did as well. It has been my experience that young kids lose it during church services – and in longer ones doubly so. The Man Zachary was an angel. Although, there was an emergency three-person pit stop and tire change when it was discovered that Zachary’s grunting and look of concentration was not him taking in the sights of the sanctuary, but was instead his dropping a hellacious deuce in his pants five minutes before we were expected at the baptismal fount. Kim and Jena got him all cleaned up as I held up his legs in the sanctuary lobby - and a priest-poop tragedy was miraculously averted. The only other setback to report occurred when Godmom Jena handed me some breath spray which I subsequently sprayed up my nose. This was most painful but being the trooper I am I was able to overcome the injuries sustained and make it through the ceremony. My pain tolerance is legendary, and I will note for the future that with breath spray aim is everything.

This brings me back to examining what I believe, why I believe it and the conversations I alluded to earlier. As I said before, I believe in God, and consider myself to be a Christian – meaning that I have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord, Savior and recognize Him as the Son of God. I have been asked a great many times why I feel this way, and I have narrowed it down to three main reasons: the first is spiritual, the second logical and the third scientific.

It has been written time and time again that it is by faith that we can get to know God. I believe this to be true because there is no purely factual evidence of His existence, which makes for an interesting conundrum. I went through a stretch during my adolescence where I was a die-hard atheist, from the time I was approximately 9 until I was 18. My conversion from Sunday-school-attending youth to complete skeptic was most abrupt. It happened after the following conversation between myself and one Pastor Hall, after a sermon in which he stated that God existed, always will exist and always has existed. I waited in line after church to ask the pastor how this could be. God existed – okay I believe that. God always will exist – again, I can handle that one too. God always has existed - this one made me raise an eyebrow as my logic circuits were overloading. I asked Pastor Hall my question: “Pastor Hall, I understand that God is and that He always will be. But doesn’t everything have to start?” Pastor Hall replied, “Vincent, you have to have faith”. I replied, “Pastor Hall, I DO have faith, but this makes no sense”. Pastor Hall replied, “You have to have faith”. I saw right away that he had no real answer for me, and that my being 9 years old meant that I was going to be blown off, so I simply nodded my head and walked away to go retrieve my kid brother from Sunday school. I never stepped foot in that church again.

As I have gotten older, I have come to grips that there are aspects of God’s existence (and of His supposed plan) that we either will not, or can not wrap our minds around. God might be an all-knowing all-encompassing deity that exists as a shroud of mist, or God may be a trans-dimensional being that created us for His amusement not unlike an ant hill, but I no longer let the lack of physical evidence or the lack of everything in the Bible making sense stop me from believing. I said before that I am a Christian, and this is significant because a simple belief in God does not a Christian make. Believing only in God and not Jesus would make you a much better candidate for Judaism. I believe that Jesus was indeed the Son of God. Or, if God is a super-powerful trans-dimensional alien being - a physical manifestation of that being here on Earth. The teachings of Jesus were wholly revolutionary. To do what He did in taking on the entire establishment of the time putting His life on the line at every turn to bring the world a message of hope, love and forgiveness, is truly incredible. I believe that someone with that type of drive, with that type of message HAD to be armed with a strength and conviction of the divine. I have been called a blasphemer by people in my college youth group for voicing the next step in my reasoning, but I will throw it out there as well - whether He was the Messiah or not, the world would be a MUCH better place if the people of this planet treated one another in accordance to the teachings of Jesus.

Are there times where I might find myself to be somewhat skeptical? Yes. There are. But this brings me to my next reason, which I consider logical. I look at my belief in God and my usually feeble attempts to lead a relatively good and moral life in what I feel is a most logical sense. This I find funny because it is “logic” that is used so gleefully by evangelical atheists as their sword of truth. My logic is simple, at least to me, and can be summed up in one question: What does it hurt?

Here is my 'What Does It Hurt' logic, broken down in an easy to understand form. Let’s say there is no God. You live a life guided by the tenets of the church of your choice. You put money in the collection plate, you pray, and in general you try to do the right thing. Now, you die. There is no God. So poof, your consciousness is blinked out of existence at the moment of the cessation of brain activity, and then - nothingness. What does this hurt? Well, you could argue that you might have wasted the offering plate money (which, if the church uses it for what it is supposed to, still went to a good cause) and the time you spent praying and worshipping (much more valuable), but you haven’t really hurt yourself any. No harm, no foul. However, let’s look at the OTHER side of the same coin. Let’s say there IS a God. You live your life conscience-free, doing whatever you want to whoever you want with your only consideration being the law of the land. You hurt people. You don’t care. You never feel the need to confess your sins because it’s all a bunch of B.S. Now, you die. Oops. There IS a God and He is not happy with you. Now, you are screwed, or at the very least you find yourself at the mercy of a God that you denied throughout your life. If the Old Testament is any indication, God does not take well to being denied.

The third reasoning for my beliefs is scientific in nature. The scientific method is not truly applicable, but for my intent and purpose I consider it to be scientific reasoning. The universe is very big, and extremely flawed. The Earth, being a part of the larger universe, also carries these characteristics. As far as we know, the Earth is the only chunk o’ stuff in the universe that supports life. So, it is on this one glob of celestial debris where everything went JUST RIGHT to allow for molecular structures to combine just so – to allow for liquids, solids, plant life and photosynthesis, animal life, human life and consciousness. Consciousness - this is my biggest scientific reason for believing in God. There is no true scientific explanation for human thought. You could argue that this might be the worst of God’s creations, but I digress. Atheist scientists will try to tell you that the emotions we experience as humans are mere physiological responses to chemical reactions of the brain. There may be some truth to these arguments, but what chemical reactions cause regret, sorrow, guilt, loyalty or love? I have heard about scientific studies that call “love” a physiological reaction of the brain. I have no doubt that lust or similar human reactions are chemical creations of our bodies. But the feeling that washes over me when my son smiles at me, when my wife holds me, when my friends are there for me in a time of need – these are not animalistic human responses. These are the things that separate human beings from the rest of the animal world. My abilities to reason, to know right from wrong, to be self aware, to scheme and plot revenge – these are some of the myriad parcels of what passes for proof that there is a God. Now, whether or not God is actually happy with what He has created - this I am somewhat afraid to find out. I also find myself wondering if Jesus looks back at what he endured for us over 2000 years and one Mel Gibson movie ago and feel that we were worth it? I worry that He might not. Not after all of the evil deeds men have perpetrated using His name and Church as their excuse throughout the annals of history.

I am far from suggesting that the current version of Christ's Church has it all right and figured out. The message of The Christ has been bastardized by generations of humans in power positions that have changed the message to fit their own agendas. While this is a huge topic for another day, some examples of this evil are the removal of entire parts of the Bible - for instance any and all mention of women in leadership positions in the early church. This is especially galling to me, and can still be evidenced today in denominations that do not allow female clergy, or ultra-right-wing Baptist churches that continue to repress the girls and women of their congregations by banning the wearing of pants or skirts that fall anywhere above the tops of their shoes. A very good friend of mine told me a story on Friday that shook me to the core. Her older brother, once one of my closest friends, has immersed himself in the ultra-fundamentalist church that the family has belonged to for many years. For a Christmas present last month, an aunt from Florida sent personalized CDs to his children with religious songs that mentioned the children by name. Apparently, the CDs have been shelved...BECAUSE OF THE BEAT.

I can understand that Christians are called to avoid worldy temptation, as are the members of other world religions. But I cannot help but think that a lot of the restrictions of these fundamentalists are put in place as elements of control. The leaders of these churches and religious sects prefer sheep to free thinkers. Like the Pharisees who persecuted Jesus, these religious leaders have control and power. Power corrupts, and these religious leaders will do and say anything to maintain it. Christian fundamentalists dissapoint me more than anyone, and here is my message to them: Jesus danced. Jesus feasted. Jesus accepted. Jesus did not make the water cleaner, Jesus turned the water into wine. Jesus wanted us to love one another as we would ourselves. Jesus wanted his message to be brought into the world like a beacon of light. There is nothing in the New Testament about sheltering the Church from the rest of the world, persecuting gays, repressing women or picking and choosing the parts of scripture that fit your needs while dismissing the rest. There sure as hell isn't anything in there about avoiding all music with a danceable beat! The message of the New Testament is ridiculously simple, and I pray that no matter who is right or wrong in their spiritual beliefs, that we all figure out a way to accept and love one another in the manner that Jesus intended - a message so important that He was willing to die in order to deliver it to the world. The world would be a much better place for it.

[Currently Listening: Norman Greenbaum - "Spirit In the Sky"]