The Blood Begins To Boil

Today could very easily be one of those days where my angst level is sky high, where my blood is boiling and I make it through my day by seething through it. It could easily be the type of day where my head hurts behind my eyes and I can feel my pulse in my temples. There are lots of things contributing to my going spasmoidal today, but so far I have no let them win. I am trying to be more positive in my life outlook, not indifferent mind you, just more positive. I must have made a breakthrough, because a few weeks ago a day like this would have set me off big-time.

My day started innocently enough. Kim had The Man Zachary up as usual, and I was greeted by his smiling face when it was my turn to get moving. I got out of bed without a lot of trouble, which is not usually the case - especially on a Monday. Got shaved and showered, knew what I was wearing to work and my morning was lining up nicely. Then, a hairball-induced toilet overflow began to turn the tide of my happy morning. After cleaning up the bathroom I had a very annoyed little guy on my hands, as Zachary did NOT want to be in his bouncer seat as I got myself ready to go to work. Apparently The Man has learned how to get himself out of places he prefers not to be. He is now resorting to arching his back and twisting to the side to scooch himself forward. This is a dangerous development, as the first time I noticed it he was in his swing, un-strapped. Mental note - the maintenance level of The Man Zachary has gone up a couple of notches.

Got myself pulled together and took Zachary next door to Casa De Simpson, where the just recently cantankerous Zachary began to beam a huge smile as soon as he saw Dan. This depressed me a bit, but I shook it off as I got in my car to navigate through the 1/4-mile visibility fog on my way to work. I didn't even make it off my street before I almost lost my mind on a complete mutant idiot neighbor who not only almost took out three kids who were waiting for their school bus as she whipped around the corner, but almost hit me head-on as she swerved to avoid the youths. I did get mildly upset by this, but I was not going to let my week start out all keyed up. I haven't been a great person to be around lately, and I was determined to keep making an effort to be more pleasant.

My work day began with my boss having an appointment that would delay our sit-down concerning my potential raise (a conversation that is an anxiety-attack waiting to happen in and of itself), and his calling me from the road to tell me that the 16-page rate set sheet that I spent all of Friday doing would need to be re-done due to the accountant giving him the wrong numbers. Fun, fun, fun!About a quarter of the way through the re-do, Kim emails me to tell me that one of the kids from her school and their little sister were badly injured in a house fire that was most likely set by their father in what is being theorized as a murder-suicide. Nice.

Child abuse is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Stories about kids that have to suffer because of their mutant retard parents break my heart - and set me off. Apparently, the guy chickened out after setting the fire, left the girls locked in their bedroom to die, ran from the burning house only to be struck by a responding fire truck. The mutant lived, apparently. The kids are in intensive care in the burn ward of a hospital in Chester.

I was reminded this morning about a story in the current issue of Rolling Stone (http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/9138154/the_deficit_lie) which tells of the recent "deficit reduction" bill passed by the scumbag Republicans which was in truth a thinly-veiled tax cut for the rich which comes solely at the expense of the poor and working class. Instead of me ranting and raving about, I would invite you to click the above link and read the article for yourself. Regardless of your political bend, it is bound to enlighten you.

So, here I am, with a plethora of excuses to be all kinds of pissed off and tense, taking things in stride for a change. It is not that I do not care, nor am I blowing any of these things off. I am trying to find the silver lining in things so that I can avoid blowing a gasket - and subsequently not be there for my wife and son. It's not a bad thing that my son is happy to see the babysitters in the morning or that he belly-laughs only for his Gramma. The lady that almost killed three children and hit me head-on this morning did not, and maybe the near-miss will motivate her to drive a little more carefully. Having to re-do a pain-in-the-butt assignment stunk, but he trusted me with he project in the first place, so there is some job security there. There is no silver lining with the Republicans, we can just only pray that they don't destroy the planet or life for all citizens in the lower tax brackets before changes can be made. The man who tried to kill himself and his daughters did not succeed, and if there is any justice for these kids, they will recover and be placed in homes where they will be safe and cared for (there are allegations of abuse of the girls at the hands of older stepbrothers).

On even more of a positive note, I found some music over the weekend that I had been looking for for ages. This always brightens my mood. I got to see very good friends Fran and Joanne over the weekend at their home in King of Prussia, and I read a great article that gives me some reason for optimism on the global preservation front (http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2006/02/06/8367959/index.htm?cnn=yes). Be sure to check this story out, especially if you are tired of feeling violated every time you put gas in your car.

There is hope. There are reasons to be optimistic even when it seems like the fates are lining up on purpose to try and get you to pull out your hair. How bad can the world be today when the biggest story is that two journalists were injured while covering the occupation in Iraq? So, if you are a prayer, please keep the little girls who were burned in your prayers. Check out the links above and let me know what you think. Or better yet, let your Congressperson know what you think.

[Currently Listening: Jimmy Cliff – “No Justice”]