Philly Fans. WTF?

It has been eight months since I have written anything, and I must admit the whole Lisa Kogan ripping off my blog REALLY affected me. However, given how I have overcome actual adversity in my life, I admit it’s high time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and got back on the horse, as it were.

There have been a ton of things that have gone on since last August that should have spurned me to share my thoughts - the Phillies winning the World Series, the Obama presidential election win, my son learning the lyrics to all sorts of great songs...but no, none of these historic events were able to snap me out of my disaffected funk. What got the blood boiling enough to make me break my silence? Attending last night's Phillies game which served as a tribute to the late, great Harry Kalas. And beer. Tonight I have had some beer...

I am a longstanding, card-carrying member of the hard-core Philadelphia fan collective. I long prided myself as a hardcore Philly diehard. I suffered, I persevered through all kinds of sports hardship and I emerged tougher than any supposedly suffering sod from Whatevertown, USA.

Last night, I was lucky enough to secure tickets for the first Phillies home game since the passing of legendary broadcaster Harry Kalas. I can not tell you how many summer evenings I spent in front of our television in Overbrook (West Philadelphia) listening to Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn call Philadelphia Phillies games. After my neighborhood friends and I were retired to our homes from our uber-competitive asphalt-lot baseball games, it was Harry and Richie that invariably put me to bed. Harry Kalas was the predominant voice of my childhood and young adulthood. I felt honored to be able to sit in section 103 of Citizens Bank Park to honor the memory of one of the greatest broadcasting voices of all time with forty-five thousand fellow mourners, but also to root the Phils to a much-needed victory in their campaign to defend their Major League Baseball championship.

I have become a bit of a curmudgeon as I have entered my mid-thirties. My zeal for verbally assaulting fans of the visiting side has ebbed. My seeing red when someone wears the visiting team's colors has melted away in recent years. I will likely never again pummel a fan for wearing the jersey of the visiting team. I have mellowed, and I credit this newfound level of maturity to being a husband and father. Yes, this is the same guy who was admitted to the Dirty Thirty may years ago after an expertly executed anti-J.D. Drew rant on the 610 WIP Angelo Cataldi morning show sometime during 1998.

What makes my blood boil worse than an out-of-towner showing love to his home team? Hometown Philly fans forgetting how to create a home field advantage. Last night, the Philadelphia "faithful" successfully executed a wave. My wife wondered why the wave bothered me as much as it did, as I called the wave participants heathens. The wave is okay during blowouts, especially when the home side is a hopeless mess. The wave is NOT okay in a one-run game when the home team is pitching with a one run lead. If you have an issue with this, for the love of God, PLEASE ask a player from the home squad what they are feeling when the wave is going around the home stadium during an important stanza of a home game.

Another thing that has me spazzing is the Citizens Bank Park copycat demand that all home run balls hit by opposing batters be thrown back onto the field. Give me a break. Philly fans are known throughout the country as being hard-core loyalists. Opposing players know they are in for a tough visit every time they come to the City of Brotherly Love. Why have we decided to copycat the tradition at Wrigley Field? It is sad that Philly fans have decided to buddy up to this tradition. The Cubs haven't won a title in eons. We are Philly fans! Why copy something from the Midwest? Why copy a tradition of Cubs fans? Do we want to be like them? I don't!!! My wife asked my why I had to be such a spaz as I cheered on a fan in the left field seats who refused to throw a Padres home run ball to the field. I yelled "Don't be a sheep!". "Good for you!". And, "we aren't bleacher bums!". Philadelphia fans are the most feared in the country. That is a fact. We do NOT need to copy traditions from Cubs fans or anyone else. If I am lucky enough to catch a home run ball, I will not throw it back. Let my section yell, scream, insult and threaten. I am 6'5 and 250-plus pounds. You don't like my decision to hang on to the ball or to give it to a young kid in my section? Come tell me about it. I am a Philadelphia sports fan. I am no sheep. And I am tougher than you.

[Currently Listening: Mastodon - "Crack the Skye"]